Are You Too Old to Learn? How to Fearlessly Trust.

Are you too old to learn? How to fearlessly trust that you are never too old to learn or to seek help. Aldous from The Hidden Diamond and Harold from Robin’s Gift believed their advanced age set them in their ways, making them incapable of change. Could they turn around their flawed beliefs? Discover that answer within my books.

Trust Issues

Trust issues, due to my past, have made it difficult for me to ask for help. This tendency has often frustrated my sweetie, as he frequently declares, “I’m right here! All you need to do is ask me.” I am still learning he is sincere in his desire to offer me aid. Regardless of how much healing a person has done, some areas stubbornly persist. For me, this is one of those areas.

Over the years, I have developed a system of stumbling through things to make a way on my own. Because life taught me a misconception that this is how it must be, subsequently, this lie forged my way of being. It has taken many challenging years of hard work to pull myself out from under many layers of such deceit.

Countless experiences throughout my lifetime make up these weighted layers. Like peeling an onion, I had to pull back each layer, one at a time. My parents created most of those layers. They formed much of them from their expectation that I always behave with adult maturity, even as young as my preschool years. We lived in elegant houses with pricey furnishings surrounding us. Yet Mother and Father insisted they could not afford to provide me anything beyond the bare necessities.

Finding Strength Within Hardships

In time, this hardship, inflicted upon me by my parents, developed into a strength. It taught me how to press forward and make good with what I have. As a result, I’ve gained skills in areas that number more than average. I acquired enough skills to get things done by myself. However, this is not an ability I naturally gained, for I tried countless times to seek help, but to no avail.

When Halloween came around during my grade school years, I knew better than to ask for a costume. My parents would consider a purchase like that as wasted money. So, I ventured into the attic and rummaged through boxes of forgotten items. Each year, I created a unique costume that I felt proud to wear from what I had found.

One year, I went out dressed as the Statue of Liberty. My creative efforts won me the Best Costume Award at the Halloween party our local school system always put on. Three years later, I went as Pippy Longstocking. Since I had nothing to collect candy in that year, I colored an old pillowcase to mirror my character. On the upside, overcoming such an obstacle taught me self-sufficiency. Yet every mountain a person scales comes with a downside. My downside enwrapped my onion in additional layers with each costume I created, enforcing the harmful belief that I could only rely on myself.

To see more Crystalisms, go to  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

More Layers Added On

In fifth grade, a girl in my class, day after day, harassed me. The day she ripped up my class assignment, I knew I needed help. So, I went to our school counselor, feeling sure he would guide me in handling this matter. As I revealed everything about my trouble, he looked back at me with a blank stare. He finally spoke, “So what do you expect me to do?” Another thick layer adhered tightly around my onion that day.

Year after year, layers continued to pile on, each new skin formed thicker than the last. As a result of all those accumulated layers, I concluded that figuring things out on my own produced much better and safer results than seeking help.

However, within every shroud of trial is a lace with a golden thread. The thread woven within my situation is the multiple areas where I gained skills. I suppose I am one of those people with accumulated knowledge of much but is an expert of none.

Rejoice

As a result of what I’ve experienced, I found truth in Romans 5:3-4 (TLB) “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us—they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.”

The blessing comes in verse 5. “Then, when that happens, we are able to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

Bit by bit, I have been peeling that monumental-sized onion. It has proven to be challenging work, but like any worthy cause, it remains well worth its effort. When I venture off into new areas, as a default, I tend to click into the panicked thought that I must figure everything out on my own. It often takes time to consider that help exists and find good quality help.

Accepting Help

I went through this cycle as I marketed my books. Finally, after much struggle, I feel my Savior led me to a handful of people who have begun to help me. Karen Sargent https://karensargent.com did a superb job leading a book launch for my second book, Robin’s Gift. Also, Barbara Kompik with https://bkbookshoppe.com is giving me excellent guidance on marketing my books, Robin’s Gift and The Hidden Diamond.

As I typed out this blog, In the background, I had a radio set on K-LOVE, a Christian music station. I came to the part where I began to focus on asking for aid, and Anne Wilson’s song “Strong” Anne Wilson – Strong (Official Performance Lyric Video) – Bing video played. It gave me a Divine reminder that “I can’t do this on my own.” I find my strength through my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Inevitably, life will teach us a smorgasbord of lies. We cannot escape its excessive deceit. Yet we all possess within ourselves the key to pull us out. “In reality, the truth of God is known instinctively, for God has embedded this knowledge inside every human heart. (Romans 1:19) (TPT).

Instinctively, I know that particular song played in that instant to reinforce within me that God never meant us to be aloneIt is good to reach out and seek help. If we ask for it, God will provide. It might not come in ways we expect or even at our desired timeframe, but it will come. Luke 22:45 tells us to stay awake and alert. Do not fall asleep.

Note To My Readers

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift hereat BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley. However, if you prefer to purchase my books from Amazon, you will find The Hidden Diamond at  http://www.amazon.com/The-Hidden-Diamond-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/1665573767 and Robin’s Gift at https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N. Other places to buy my books are at https://bkbookshoppe.com and https://bizybookstore.com.

Each purchase of my books supports my mission to break the chains of abuse. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.

The Hidden Diamond – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

Robin’s Gift – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is a desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

A Different Light Alexandra Another Reason to Forgive Back to My Story Boundaries Direct Forms of Religious Abuse Domestic Abuse Defined Emotional Abuse – an Umbrella Term Faith Shattered Forgiveness Does Not Mean to Forget. Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift Grace Hope Invite Long-term Effects My Fight for You My Solution My Story Note To My Readers Perfection’s Curse Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Seeking Help Step Five Step Four Step One Step Six Step Three Step Two Take the Challenge The Hidden Diamond The Root Meaning of Sin The Scars of Abuse To Find Help To My Readers Two Other Forms of Legal Abuse Unveiling the Hidden Crime Upcoming Posts What Is Legal Abuse? Why Do I Forgive? Why I Share Why I Write You Are Worthy!

How to Spot 22 Ways That Rob Your Joy.

Learn how to spot 22 ways that rob your joy. They commonly hide within many of us. Nonetheless, we often have no clue they are there stealing precious aspects from our lives. Comparison is a thief to joy. God made you a precious diamond, no more and no less valuable than anyone else. Regardless of how often someone may have told you differently, please, don’t believe them. The truth is you are worthy.

This truth is a concept I have struggled to learn. As a child, my parents and life’s circumstances taught me to be always subservient to others. That destructive viewpoint of life massively damaged my self-esteem. When a person’s self-esteem is wounded, it affects their decision-making. That is what happened to me. In addition, it made me hungry for what I saw as love and attention. Back then, I had no idea I sought after the type of attention that only caused further harm and enforced even more the concept that I lacked worth. As a result, it took me decades to escape this destructive cycle.

I am not the only one who spent years trapped in such a cycle. However, I am one of the blessed ones who found a way out. Far too many people spend their entire lives running circles on this perpetual hamster wheel, never discovering how to flee its continuous spin. To see more on this, go to my blog post, Are You Being Misguided by Lies with Important Decisions? https://www.crystalmmhuntley.com/are-you-being-misguided-by-lies-with-important-decisions/(opens in a new tab).

In my book Robin’s Gift, a trap such as what I am referring to has held Melody tight since childhood. Due to early-on training, the concept that others can help her handle responsibilities never entered her mind.

From Robin’s Gift

That seemed to have always been the case in Melodly’s life. It may have resulted as a natural outcome of Melody being the oldest of eight children. But whatever the reason, she never could successfully shake that extreme tendency toward responsibility drilled into her mind, enforcing that no matter the task, it was up to her, alone, to make it happen. Consequently, here again, Melody found herself in the same position, where her shoulders alone must bear the better part of the responsibility.

So what within Melody’s past caused her to feel that she must tackle monumental responsibilities alone? And in addition, what new occurrence drew Melody back into this old way of thinking? Furthermore, does she grow and allow others to share the burden? To find out, read Robin’s Gift https://amzn.to/3vjaRh7.

What Keeps You in Control?

People often falsely think they must act forcefully to remain in control. But the truth is just the opposite. An over-controlling behavior stems from intense insecurity. Mix a lack of trust in others with not feeling worthy of healthy support, and you will create a toxic recipe. If you feast continuously on such a dish, you will poison your soul.

How do you know if you have been feasting on this toxic cuisine? Look for the signs. They always exist. Here is a list of some of these signs.

22 Signs: Do You…

  1. Lack trust in yourself.
  2. Find it difficult to make decisions.
  3. Take other people’s opinions over your own.
  4. Get suspicious that people are talking about you.
  5. See yourself as a people pleaser.
  6. Feel needy.
  7. Feel unworthy.
  8. Find that it is challenging to speak up.
  9. Hold a negative images of yourself, both physically and otherwise.
  10. Find it difficult to maintain healthy relationships.
  11. Cling onto childish habits.
  12. Engage in negative self-talk.
  13. Continuously compare yourself with others.
  14. Fear expressing yourself.
  15. Maintain a poor body image.
  16. Uphold a pour posture.
  17. Not take criticism well.
  18. Avoid social gatherings.
  19. Foster hostility.
  20. Remain excessively preoccupied with your appearance or other aspects of yourself.
  21. Struggle with conditions like depression, anxiety, eating disorders, substance abuse, and sexual abuse.
  22. Second guess yourself instead of trusting your instincts.

This list is ongoing. I encourage you to examine this checklist and look for signs that you need a self-esteem boost. Chances are, anyone who is or once was victimized by abuse suffers from one or multiple forms of low self-esteem. Taking away a person’s sense of worth is one of the devastating aftermaths abuse leaves on its victims. It is a fundamental reason victims find it so difficult to escape.

Rebuilding Your Life

I suffered many of those previously mentioned traits. Yet, with persistence and God-led guidance, I overcame most of them. I’ve since then moved on to a much healthier life. Rebuilding your sense of self-worth is not easy. However, anyone can reach this goal. To do so, surround yourself with strong, healthy people who accept you for who you are. They also must not enable you in any way. Along with that, a good therapist goes a long way in helping you find your worth.  

Building up your self-esteem is one of the methods I use to advocate against abuse. Someone who nurtures their self-value is far less vulnerable to falling into an abuser’s carefully laid out traps. Abusers whittle down their victim’s sense of worth to almost nothing, making them feel undeserving of joy.

Abuse’s Effects on Me

As a result of the abuse I suffered, I battled depression most of my life. See https://www.crystalmmhuntley.com/suicide-its-a-devastating-effect-of-abuse-how-to-get-help/(opens in a new tab).

I also developed traits of anorexia. Growing up in the 80s did not help. The female TV and movie stars who dominated the screen sported one body type—skinny, skinny, skinny. Such a continuously viewed image contributed to my poor body image. Being a young, impressionistic girl aching to fit in, I felt ashamed of my hourglass figure that began to form. I went to great extremes to temper my curves. To hide them, I twisted together my hands in front of me and drew my shoulders into a slump. I am pleased to say that now, however, I find beauty in all body shapes, including mine.

Still today, I must remain vigilant to not fall into carved-out habits that resulted from the abuse I had endured. When someone lacks self-worth, they tend to place that worth on something outside themselves. How well I kept my home became one of those areas.

As stated at the beginning of this blog, comparison is a thief to joy. I lost many joyous opportunities over the years, worrying about how my home looked. Every time I stepped into an immaculate house, another chunk of joy got chiseled from my heart. Then, when medical issues get heavy, managing daily housekeeping becomes even more difficult. I fought this challenge throughout the latter part of this past winter. Such a challenge causes the battle of comparison to increase.

Escaping these traps is an ongoing daily practice one must exercise to become free. The good news is that these battles do lessen in intensity with time.

The Gift of Individuality

Raise your head and rejoice, for there is a sure way out of a trap such as comparison. Keep in mind that Our Maker did not create us to think, look, or act alike. God used His creative energy to make us all individuals. Celebrate that individuality by seeing beauty in differences. Being of one mind and one spirit, as stated in Philippians 2:2, does not call us to look, think, and act alike. On the contrary, that scripture reference refers to the interconnection of the Holy Spirit.

To remain strong in character and solid in truth, I often refer to one of my favorite scriptures, 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10.

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”

To see more Crystalisms, go to  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

Keep up the good fight. Hold tight to what gives you strength. Always remember, you are worth it! Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Note To My Readers

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift hereat BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley. However, if you prefer to purchase my books from Amazon, you will find The Hidden Diamond at  http://www.amazon.com/The-Hidden-Diamond-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/1665573767 and Robin’s Gift at https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N. Other places to buy my books are at https://bkbookshoppe.com and https://bizybookstore.com.

Each purchase of my books supports my mission to break the chains of abuse. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.

The Hidden Diamond – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

Robin’s Gift – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is a desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

A Different Light Alexandra Another Reason to Forgive Back to My Story Boundaries Direct Forms of Religious Abuse Domestic Abuse Defined Emotional Abuse – an Umbrella Term Faith Shattered Forgiveness Does Not Mean to Forget. Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift Grace Hope Invite Long-term Effects My Fight for You My Solution My Story Note To My Readers Perfection’s Curse Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Seeking Help Step Five Step Four Step One Step Six Step Three Step Two Take the Challenge The Hidden Diamond The Root Meaning of Sin The Scars of Abuse To Find Help To My Readers Two Other Forms of Legal Abuse Unveiling the Hidden Crime Upcoming Posts What Is Legal Abuse? Why Do I Forgive? Why I Share Why I Write You Are Worthy!

How To Stop Accepting Lies. Claim Your Beautiful Value.

How to stop accepting lies and claim your beautiful value. Many are unaware they have fabricated their lives around a jumbled mess of lies. They have existed under a frozen tundra of deceit for so long that it has become their reality. Allow that season of existence to melt away, and a newly discovered beauty within you will surface.

It appears as if the bizarre winter that spread across the nation and seeped into a snow-filled spring is finally ending. Where we live, in the Northern country, we cannot count on an absence of snow until May. Regardless, we are entering my favorite time of the year. I love it when signs of rebirth surround me. And I love to witness as that which once was dead springs back to life once again.

No Regrets

Now that my second book, Robin’s Gift, is published, I have been waiting for things from its launch to slow down, not to mention other aspects of my life. The spin of pressure from those two factors has lessened, so now I can dive into writing my next book, No Regrets.

No Regrets will be a sequel to The Hidden Diamond. It focuses on Lacey, Aldous’s daughter. The storyline will follow her as she escapes the dysfunctional existence that has trapped her and her two children. Much like the coming of spring, Lacey will seek out a new birth to their life.  

To write this book, I must dive into the six months I spent in 2012 when I sought refuge within the safe boundaries of a shelter for abused women. That leap of faith became a stepping stone that rebounded me into a fabulous new life. But that transformation did not come without its challenges. To get where I am today, I first had to open my eyes and come to terms with many painful truths. This work required me to journey through all seven stages of grief as if having gone through many deaths.

Such a journey in no way is void of hardships. I fully understand why many choose to close their eyes to the truth surrounding them and instead relish in a fantasy world that solely exists within their minds. Fostering such a delusion may save you from facing harsh realities; however, you will never find genuine joy within that fantasy land.

Refuge

The butterfly goes through hardship and exerts immense energy as it breaks free from its cocoon. Yet, the rewards of a beautiful, new existence come with such extensive work. The act of breaking open the cocoon that housed this beautiful creature during its season of transformation allows the butterfly to gain the strength it needs to fly. If someone were to split open the cocoon for the butterfly, its wings would be too weak. As a result, the beautiful creature would die, never knowing the joy of freedom.

We are much like that butterfly. The cocoon represents the time we spend in some form of shelter. Within its protection, we develop strength, faith, and trust in our maker. And once we become strong enough, we emerge from our cocoon. Our eyes open as we break free from the lies we previously dwelled within. We find freedom in soaring on the wings of truth and rejoice. 

To see more Crystalisms, go to  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

Tend to Your Mess

Existing within a world of lies, whether they provide comfort or not, is like living within a discombobulated mess. Messes readily pile up if not consistently tented. The longer you reside there, the more you become buried beneath all the garbage. Only you can tend to your mess. The sooner you do so, the less monumental the task becomes.

Aldous, from The Hidden Diamond, along with Natalie, Harold, and Melody, from Robin’s Gift, all have spent much of their lives buried beneath monumental messes. Some of these characters took on generational messes. If you haven’t already read my books, I invite you to read The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift. Discover what truths my characters unearth and how they dug themselves out.

The Paddle Lock of Anger

Anger can become a paddle lock that fastens a chain of abuse tightly to you. This anger often stems from the lies people have repeatedly told you. Lies like “You are not good enough.” And “You will never amount to anything.” Or “You’re not deserving.” Then there’s “You have no right to be here.” Do any of these lies sound familiar?

If not diligently fought against, such lies will filter into your very being, poisoning your genuine self. Shout back at those destructive words of misguidance! Don’t allow them a moment of entrance into your mind. Repeat to yourself the very opposite, which is true. You are worthy! You have been created with great value and for a monumental purpose. A purpose only you can fulfill.

You Are Worthy!

Find your cocoon and enter it. Your haven may look very different than anyone else’s, which is fine. Remain within the safety of that shelter long enough that you gain the needed strength to counteract such false statements. Then, such harmful words will no longer penetrate you. No matter what your past consisted of, you are worthy. You can break free from the chains of any previous action. So, break out of those forged chains of abuse. Not only set yourself free but also set free future generations to come.

For further assistance in achieving the charge I presented here, I highly recommend https://www.melodybeattie.com. This excellent resource has helped me gain the strength to move forward in my new life, free from the chains of abuse. 

Note To My Readers

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift hereat BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley. However, if you prefer to purchase my books from Amazon, you will find The Hidden Diamond at  http://www.amazon.com/The-Hidden-Diamond-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/1665573767 and Robin’s Gift at https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N. Other places to buy my books are at https://bkbookshoppe.com and https://bizybookstore.com.

Each purchase of my books supports my mission to break the chains of abuse. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.

The Hidden Diamond – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

Robin’s Gift – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is a desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

A Different Light Alexandra Another Reason to Forgive Back to My Story Boundaries Direct Forms of Religious Abuse Domestic Abuse Defined Emotional Abuse – an Umbrella Term Faith Shattered Forgiveness Does Not Mean to Forget. Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift Grace Hope Invite Long-term Effects My Fight for You My Solution My Story Note To My Readers Perfection’s Curse Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Seeking Help Step Five Step Four Step One Step Six Step Three Step Two Take the Challenge The Hidden Diamond The Root Meaning of Sin The Scars of Abuse To Find Help To My Readers Two Other Forms of Legal Abuse Unveiling the Hidden Crime Upcoming Posts What Is Legal Abuse? Why Do I Forgive? Why I Share Why I Write You Are Worthy!

Is Solitude Good for You? Discover its Valuable Gift.

Is solitude good for you? Discover its valuable gift. The wounded soul often seeks out safety within the sheltering confinements of solitude. Even so, healing cannot occur in isolation. So, how could seclusion be of any benefit?

One of the dangers of having been abused is it provides the groundwork for others to continue to mistreat you. Consequently, the abused person learns how to be a victim. And as a result, that way of existence becomes their reality. They know no other way of life. This way of life becomes their standard, especially if they begin to learn it from a young age.

Like the magnet’s attraction to steel, a victim and an abuser gravitate toward each other. To break free from this cycle, victims frequently retreat into isolation. A time of solitude can be substantially healing if done appropriately and with proper intent. See https://www.crystalmmhuntley.com/how-to-stop-accepting-lies-claim-your-beautiful-value/(opens in a new tab).

Solitude may provide a feeling of safety. However, a word of warning. If you remain within its sheltered walls too long, that which gave you a sense of security will soon become your prison. It all comes down to balance. As Ecclesiastes 3:1 (EASY) states, “There is a right time for everything. Everything that we do on the earth has a proper time.”

Why I Write

One of the reasons I post these blogs is to provide resources to use during the times you may draw within yourself for healing and growth. When a person goes through hardships in life, it is prevalent to fall into the trap of thinking that you have it far worse than any other. Too many wounded souls believe no one can understand their suffering. Such thoughts are lies a person tells to themself. Those lies hold that person deeper in their pain.

I pray my posts and books help you feel that you are not alone. When you read what I write, I hope you will see how others understand what you are going through. A support system awaits your acceptance so you can receive its benefits. As you take in such healthy support, you will begin to recognize that the journey toward wholeness brings light into your soul. May my writings give you a piece of what you need to set solid footing on that journey.

Apostle Paul explains this better than I ever could in 1 Corinthians 10:13 (MSG). “No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down. He’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; He’ll always be there to help you through it.”

We Cannot Navigate Life Alone

Life is a difficult journey full of challenges and obstacles. We cannot navigate it alone. Only through faith in our Lord and Savior will we be successful. The grace of God rescued me from the fire, freeing me from extreme abuse in multiple forms. By delivering me, my Savior gave me a second chance in life.

Only due to the never-ending love of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, am I alive today to tell my story. I pray that this blog honors God and provides strength to others so they, too, can make it through their battles.

Hoppy

It’s easy to throw out labels. Nevertheless, it’s not so simple to step back and gather an understanding of those around us. Within the bird world, the crow often receives an unfair label of being a troublesome and undesirable bird. People are all too quick to shoo it away.

Living on the forest’s edge, we see many crows. One day last summer, we noticed a crow with a crippled leg. He hopped on his one good leg with his wing on the wounded side outstretched, adding support like a crutch. We watched with concern as winter set in. From the seed we and our neighbors set out, we knew this bird, which we named Hoppy, would be fed. However, we feared he could become easy pickings for the multiple predators that inhabit the forests among us.

Winter pressed on and moved into spring. We continued to see Hoppy out our windows. Whenever we saw him, two other crows were always found either beside our wounded friend or watching him, perched on a nearby tree branch. We wonder if they are his parents, refusing to leave their grown chick’s side due to his unique needs. One of the reasons Hoppy survived the winter and, to this day, thrives is that he has never been alone. Others who care for him remain by his side.

To see more Crystalisms, go to  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

Like that crow, we must let those who healthily care about us surround us and give us strength. Such freely given love balances out wounds.

On the Funny Side

All winter, I attempted to get a picture of Hoppy. As multiple “Crystalisms” indicate, I have successfully taken countless photos of even the most skittish birds. I could move around in front of a window, and our feathered friend showed no alarm, yet whenever I lifted the camera, he and his two guardians immediately flew off. Finally, during an end-of-March snowstorm, I succeeded at taking his picture as he and one of his protectors feasted on corn we placed out for hungry deer.

I have heard that crows are especially intelligent. I can’t help but wonder if this crow used his smarts to dodge the camera, avoiding having his picture taken.

Note To My Readers

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley. However, if you prefer to purchase my books from Amazon, you will find The Hidden Diamond at  http://www.amazon.com/The-Hidden-Diamond-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/1665573767 and Robin’s Gift at https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N.

Each purchase of my books supports my mission to break the chains of abuse. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.

The Hidden Diamond – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

Robin’s Gift – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is a desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

A Different Light Alexandra Another Reason to Forgive Back to My Story Boundaries Direct Forms of Religious Abuse Domestic Abuse Defined Emotional Abuse – an Umbrella Term Faith Shattered Forgiveness Does Not Mean to Forget. Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift Grace Hope Invite Long-term Effects My Fight for You My Solution My Story Note To My Readers Perfection’s Curse Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Seeking Help Step Five Step Four Step One Step Six Step Three Step Two Take the Challenge The Hidden Diamond The Root Meaning of Sin The Scars of Abuse To Find Help To My Readers Two Other Forms of Legal Abuse Unveiling the Hidden Crime Upcoming Posts What Is Legal Abuse? Why Do I Forgive? Why I Share Why I Write You Are Worthy!

Did You Know that Value Exists in All Painful Pasts?

Did you know that value exists in all painful pasts, no matter how horrible those prior years may have been?

So often, we would much rather forget the pain of those moments and what occurred that caused such suffering. Yet attempting to do so is a fruitless endeavor. For the temptation to block out horrendous chapters of our lives chase after us. Such a situation happens even more when those chapters include actions we are not proud of or fill us with agony. However, there is value in remembering such painful moments. It may be hard to believe, but I know from experience this is true.

Aldous, from The Hidden Diamond, spent most of his adult existence attempting to bury his past. In addition, Natalie, from Robin’s Gift, went as far as having a burning ceremony in hopes of erasing her torturous memories. She resorted to this activity in her fruitless attempt to wipe out painful elements from her past. I know firsthand that all a burning ceremony accomplishes is to create an even larger hole in an aching heart.

Like the shadow figure that chased after Natalie in her nightmares, we cannot escape our past. However, it is tempting to try, especially when the raging torment of abuse fills your every breathing moment. When overtaken by that never-ending, intense pain, your greatest desire is relief. Yet, we can’t forget the trials we have faced. And as hard as it may be to accept, we should not attempt to do so.

Become an Overcomer!

No matter how hard you try, no one possesses the power to make the past go away. In addition, it’s not healthy to attempt to do so. It is not healthy because each trial carries within it a valuable lesson. When you are willing to learn from that lesson, you will grow. Become an overcomer! Use those traumas you have faced, for they forged the person who you are today. As written about in The Hidden Diamond, without the abundant degree of pressure placed on an ordinary lump of coal, a diamond would never shine with such glory. So, stand with pride and claim the glory of that precious jewel that life has forged you into.

From The Hidden Diamond

“Mr. Aldous’s heart seems extra hard.”

“You know, Koty. That’s how diamonds are made.” Mommy ran her hand over my hair.

“Huh?”

“That’s right.” Daddy winked at Mommy.

With a quick jerk, I turned my head from one parent to the other.

“All diamonds start as a lump of coal. After many years of being buried deep within the earth, all that pressure and burden, combined with time, convert the ugly piece of coal into a beautiful diamond.”

I stared at Daddy in disbelief. “Is God turning Mr. Aldous into a diamond?”

Mommy chuckled. “You could say that. We all have a diamond hidden inside of us.” She tapped me softly on the chest. “But also, each one of us carries a vial of poison. It’s up to us which one we choose to let into the light for everyone to see and which one we keep buried.”

“I guess today Good Ol’ Al chose his vial of poison. Do you think, someday, he will take out his diamond instead and let it shine?”

To see more Crystalisms, go to  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

Hope

“It’s a good thing to hope for help from God. I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope.”

This declaration sounds like something said today by someone fighting through a current trial. Yet, it originated around 2600 years ago. Today, we can find it in Lamentations 3:19-21 MSG. So many solid statements from the past still contain truth in our present century. Hence, hold tight to hope, for it remains foundational to getting us through our day-to-day trials.

The Teacher of Suffering

Disparity yawns like a terrible chasm. However, suffering is a teacher. But haven’t I learned enough? Apparently, I haven’t. I say this because, recently, I’ve had the opportunity to do just that and hold onto hope in a time of tribulation. As a result of my experiences, a firm part of my hope rests in believing that every trial is laced with something beneficial. I place hope in finding that valuable jewel.

Over the past many months, my pain level has risen considerably, rendering me nearly unfunctional. Knowing God gives opportunities for growth within each hardship, I decided to seek out that lesson. Typically, I struggle with taking downtime. In contrast, I often am reminded that God teaches balance in all things. That balance would include a time for work and a time for rest. By rest, I don’t think He means the eight hours we spend each night asleep in our beds.

My Lesson

I became determined not to fret over the fact that I could not function as I desired. Instead, I decided to use this situation as an opportunity for learning.

Lesson one—take pleasure in downtime. But to do that, I had to stop my well-honed pattern of pushing through pain. Instead, I must listen to my body like a parent listens to their child. So, when my body says it is tired or hurting too much, I will stop what I am doing and give myself a moment of rest.

Lesson two—I have always taken pride in preparing healthy, home-cooked meals for my family. As a result, over time, I’ve taken over the cooking to the extent that Rich has never needed to cook. Since my pain has risen to such a heightened level, the effort it takes to prepare a meal just about takes me out. The grief of this new reality attacked my ability to hold onto joy. Then I remembered to look for the hidden lesson—this may be the perfect opportunity to teach Rich how to cook.

The Results

Step by step, I taught Rich how to prepare a basic goulash and some other simple items. The experience of cooking together became a fun bonding moment. Recently, he scrubbed, sliced, coated, and air-fried potato wedges on his own. Gaining such a skill builds confidence. And doing all the cooking withheld that piece of confidence from him. His learning to cook provided Rich with the opportunity to grow. Also, giving up the image that I must do all the cooking gave me growth.

Where did I get that obsolete, harmful image? From my parents. It came as a part of the emotional abuse they so excessively dished out. They taught me that I must be subservient to others under all circumstances. For decades, I robotically lived out that expectation. But the opportunity came to overcome that trauma, so I took it, and with that came growth.

Take the Challenge

Search within yourself. In what areas do you mechanically go about your days, living out programmed ways that impede your growth? We all have such areas within us, even those who come from the most ideal homes. Take the opportunities life offers. Use such situations as learning moments to grow beyond what you have always known. Then, sit back and feel the fulfillment of such growth.

Note To My Readers

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley. However, if you prefer to purchase my books from Amazon, you will find The Hidden Diamond at  http://www.amazon.com/The-Hidden-Diamond-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/1665573767 and Robin’s Gift at https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N.

Each purchase of my books supports my mission to break the chains of abuse. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.

The Hidden Diamond – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

Robin’s Gift – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is a desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

Want to Discover How to Be Set Free?

Do you want to discover how to be set free? If anger and resentment are holding you captive, I encourage you to read on.

Nothing can set a person free quite like forgiveness does. Too often, someone professes, “I will never forgive you!” They spit out that statement with venom as if placing a curse on their offender. As they proclaim this damaging phrase, they remain completely unaware that those five words, when said together, will forge a trap around whoever voices them with conviction.

Why I Should Be Angry

From the viewpoint of many, I have every reason to be one who has hardened their heart, clutching tight to resentment while refusing to forgive. I say this because I survived beyond the first four decades of my life trapped in an inferno of abuse. However, instead of heading in the direction of bitterness, my heart filled with a burning desire not to remain buried among the ashes of animosity.

I will always be grateful for how God carried me through that raging fire and placed me on the other side. While doing so, my Savior instilled within me the gift and passion for writing. As a result of what I survived, I feel commissioned to use my gift and reach out to others trapped in abuse. I must take what I have learned to shine a light on the path toward healing so others can follow it.

I survived a childhood riddled with atrocious abuse of basically every type. Then, knowing no other reality, just days after my twentieth birthday, I united with a man whose personality mirrored that of my abusive father. Together, we had four precious children. With the birth of each child, my eyes opened up to a layer of truth, setting me on the path toward healing.

My parents had taught me well what not to do. However, I had to work diligently to discover what to do. Wanting a much better life for my children, I placed my heart and soul in the commitment to not pass abusive traits onto them. However, sadly, a harsh lesson awaited me. No matter how much effort I poured into providing my daughter and sons a healthy environment to grow up in, I had no power over their father’s actions.

My Way Out

Journaling became a dominant part of my healing journey. Those hours I poured into scratched-down entries developed into a written memoir of my story. In time, I had high hopes of publishing this memoir, combined with a desire to learn how to become fluent in writing skills. To fulfill my wishes, I attended multiple American Christian Fiction Writers’ and Called to Write Conferences along with local writers’ groups and honed the craft. However, my longing to publish that first manuscript never came to fruition. Instead, my writing took a different turn as I transformed elements from that factual account into works of fiction.

My journey toward healing included decades of heavy therapy. I greatly appreciate the multiple counselors who guided me from a place of brokenness to the passionate, dedicated person I am today. The path I trotted gave me the skills to break chains of abuse fashioned by multiple generations. As a result, I now hold a burning desire to share those skills with others who, like I once was, remain trapped in forged links of abuse.

My second book, Robin’s Gift, came out in 2024. This story provides my readers with a fictional version of a personal experience that resides close to my heart. A crucial aspect of healing is the ability to forgive oneself. A reason we are instructed to forgive our perpetrators, as in The Hidden Diamond, my first book published, is declared in Scripture. “Forgive us, as we forgive others” (Matthew 6:12 God’s Word Version). “As we forgive others.” We cannot find forgiveness for ourselves if we do not first forgive those who have harmed us. Robin’s Gift focuses on self-forgiveness in a way that brings the parable of the Prodigal Son to life in modern form.

Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak

A battle of emotions clashed within Natalie’s head. “If I send out these cards . . . What if they don’t want to hear from me?”

Lucy’s smile lines plumped her pink cheeks. “Why wouldn’t they? You said they were your friends.”

“They were, but I abandoned them. The same as my family had abandoned me.”

“I am not convinced fleeing to find a better life would qualify as abandonment to your friends. Sometimes, life takes people down different pathways. That does not mean you care any less for them. If they are truly your friends, they would celebrate your return.”

“Could they ever fully forgive me?”

“I do not know much of your story—however, it sounds as if having their forgiveness is not the real issue. I perceive you are the one who needs to forgive yourself.”

Tears pooled in Natalie’s eyes, spilling toward her chin. Lucy grabbed a tissue and dabbed away the moisture with great tenderness.

“So much has happened since I last spoke to them. I am not even certain where they now live.”

The side-to-side motion of Lucy’s head revealed that she did not buy it. “Oh, you are a smart one. I know you can overcome that obstacle with a stint of research. Do not let insignificant things stop you from moving forward.”

Also By Crystal MM Huntley

Also by Crystal MM Huntley—The Hidden Diamond, published in 2022. To write this book, I drew from childhood experiences that included the devastating throes of molestation. I fully believe the ability to forgive is a crucial element to healing. Within this book, I use the beauty of fiction to have my molester face the reality of his offense and seek forgiveness—an act of bravery that most who commit such crimes never find the courage to do.

I write this weekly blog for a more significant reason than merely highlighting my books. It is written to carry further on my work in helping others heal from this raging pandemic of abuse. I invite you to join me in each post, hoping you find value within them. I also keep an active Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761. In this group, I provide uplifting posts for my readers and links to my blog entries. Along with that, I also have a Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100089726133825.

God Rewards

God has rewarded my efforts well with many blessings. I now share life with an honorable man I dearly love, and because of him, I know what it means to be loved back. We reside within the pristine forests of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula.

When I am not writing, I enjoy cooking healthy meals for us, playing with and training our precious Westie, making quilts, and engaging in lengthy phone conversations with my daughter, three sons, and eleven grandchildren. I also cherish being active in our Episcopal church.

During our long snow-filled winters, I relish clicking pictures of the wildlife that venture closer to residential homes in search of food. During our short non-snow season, I treasure working in our garden, walking down forested paths, seeking out waterfalls, and standing in awe at the shores of Lake Superior.

Note To My Readers

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley. However, if you prefer to purchase my books from Amazon, you will find The Hidden Diamond at  http://www.amazon.com/The-Hidden-Diamond-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/1665573767 and Robin’s Gift at https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N.

Each purchase of my books supports my mission to break the chains of abuse. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.

The Hidden Diamond – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

Robin’s Gift – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is a desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

Be Fearless and Let Your Beautiful Self Shine.

Be fearless and let your beautiful self shine. Yet, how can you do this when events that are too traumatic to face riddle your past? Furthermore, how do you escape such a tainted reality? Consequently, all you wish for is to run from them, pretend they never happened, and start life anew. Natalie, from Robin’s Gift, faces just such a dilemma. You will discover what Natalie tried to run from when you read my new book. Turn the pages and find out what resulted from her running and where she ultimately landed.

I am sure all of us, to a degree, can relate to Natalie. My reasoning rests in the fact that we each have moments within our existence that we wish to run from. Nevertheless, no matter how tempting, running is never the answer.

Ross

I know a person who changed his name as he attempted to escape his past. For anonymity’s sake, I will refer to him as Ross. Ross wanted nothing to do with the person he once was. He wished to make a clean start to his life. Ross is dear to me, so I embraced his new name and attempted to counsel him. I tried to show him that the person he was before remains crucial to who he is today. For that reason alone, he needed to accept his former self.

Ross’s past and future are all essential parts of his journey. One cannot exist without the other. Those challenging moments Ross suffered through forged him into the strong young man he is today. However, Ross does not understand how abandoning his past self weakens his present.

Having known Ross since he was young, I’ve seen great potential within him. Furthermore, I care for him deeply and wish for him to become that incredible person God intended him to be. However, tragically, Ross has allowed bitterness toward his former self to leak into the present. As a result, his resentment has made him angry and caused him to believe he is helpless. Consequently, denying a crucial part of himself results in Ross giving up his power.

Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak

Natalie clomped down the crumbling pavement as fast as her legs would carry her. The oversized work boots strapped to her feet slid with each step, irritating tender skin into painful blisters. Ahead, she spied an alley. Maybe she could lose him by slipping into its corridor.

She sprinted around the corner and glanced behind. His silhouetted figure continued to close in. The uneven red-brick surface grabbed at her feet. For a split second, her legs flared. She re-gathered her footing and plunged forward with such velocity she questioned if her chest might explode. She twisted her focus to assess the distance between them. Red, fine hair tangled on the wire rim of her glasses. A chill pierced her bones while a lurking arm grasped the edge of her tattered shirt.

Natalie shot up in bed, gasping for air. Her eyes inspected the reindeer pattern on her flannel pajamas, a necessary confirmation that it was nothing more than a bad dream. This same nightmarish personification persisted in invading her waking hours. What would it take to make it go away?

Her breath came in short bursts as she stumbled out of bed and slipped her feet into fuzzy slippers. She staggered to the bathroom before pausing at the sink in front of the mirror. Sweat beaded on her faintly freckle-dappled nose. She ran her tongue along her upper lip, detecting the briny taste of salt. How long had she been running? It seemed like forever.

Embrace

Just as this nightmarish figure chases after Natalie, Ross’s past chases after him. The chase will continue until the pursued person turns around and embraces whatever their past holds that they are trying to escape. Only time will tell if Ross chooses to submit to his past and embraces it. If he does, he will finally find the freedom to move forward.

Read Robin’s Gift and discover what Natalie is running from. Turn the pages and see if she stops running and embraces what has chased her. What type of life will Natalie have if she stops running? Find the answers in Robin’s Gift.

From Robin’s Gift

Robin ran her finger over the soft fuzz on the cuff of Aurora’s boot. The child-sized item recharged an urge she had not suppressed since high school. It had surged with even greater intensity since her marriage to Eric three years ago. Back then, Melody had made it clear she thought Robin’s endeavor was a hopeless fantasy. With Abigail born, Robin’s longing grew with even greater passion. A snicker snuck through her sealed lips.

What is Robin’s persistent urge that presses upon her with such intensity she cannot resist? To find out, read my new book, Robin’s Gift.

I am happy to announce that Robin’s Gift is available for purchase today! You can find it on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N and Author House at https://www.authorhouse.com/en/bookstore/bookdetails/851484-robins-gift.

Behind the Scenes

I worked long and hard on this novel. As a result, Robin’s Gift consists of close-to-heart, actual events transformed into a work of fiction for all of you to enjoy. In short, I place high hope that as you read this story, you will discover elements within it to help you grow in your healing journey.

Note To My Readers

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books, The Hidden DiamondBUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley, and Robin’s Gift https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N, or https://www.authorhouse.com/en/bookstore/bookdetails/851484-robins-gift and support my mission to break the chains of abuse.

The Hidden Diamond – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

Robin’s Gift – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is a desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

Are You Being Misguided by Lies with Important Decisions?

Are you being misguided by lies with important decisions? Many of these lies come in the form of clichés. My mother was the queen of clichés. She spoke with an abundance of those far-to-often repeated phrases as if they embodied jewels of insight. Continuously hearing those supposed “words of wisdom” throughout my youth, I tried to live by them. As I began to heal, I started seeing the damage caused by following such statements. Truth be told, they carried on within me the abuse from my past.

Two Common Clichés

You may recognize some of those clichés. One is “Either do something all the way or not at all.” I followed this lie in everything I did. I strove to do my very best in every task I undertook. Now, don’t get me wrong. Under certain situations, this statement does hold wisdom. Yet, it is impossible to tackle every task with this extreme expectation. Attempting to do so will lead to frequent failures. An inability to live up to such an impossible expectation will cause considerable damage. In time, it will imprint on a person that they are not good enough.

Another cliché often said is “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” The concept may have originated from the Bible, yet it, like so many scriptures, is too often used out of context. These two heavily repeated phrases combined and ingrained in me. They caused me to grow up believing my self-worth rested on how well I kept everything spotless.

During my childhood years, I kept an immaculate room. This method of existence bled into my early adulthood. I continuously battled following that destructive concept as I raised my children. Yet the degenerative syndrome that ravaged my body made it impossible to live up to the cliché’s expectations. I now must accept that cleaning one room in my house in a day may be all I can do. That limited amount of housecleaning may be my new best, and that is okay.

A Doozy

Many twisted Biblical teachings develop into these clichés. See Religious Abuse https://www.crystalmmhuntley.com/religious-abuse-revealing-the-signs-can-you-see-them/(opens in a new tab). Here is a doozy—“God never gives us more than we can handle.” People have repeated this saying all my life. I’ve realized with maturity how such a statement will implant false concepts within us. This particular saying spoon feeds the lie that trials we face come from God. God did not cause my parents to abuse me. God had nothing to do with the man across the street molesting and raping the childhood me. And God did not turn my ex into an abusive husband and father.

Your Choice

Every action we take has consequences. Trials exist due to decisions we and others have made from the beginning of human existence. Ask this question when making decisions. Will we allow previous inflictions to break us and turn us bitter? Or, on the other hand, do we choose the healing path? My encouragement to help you choose the latter is one of the reasons that I write these blogs. Choosing to hold onto wounds and becoming bitter is the pathway toward becoming an abuser yourself.

God doesn’t expect us to tackle life’s challenges on our own. On the contrary, our Savior desires us to hand our hardships to Him. When we lean on God for strength and guidance, He will light our way through.

Yet Another One

Here is another cliché. “God helps those who help themselves.” This statement indicates we have the power to create our future. I believe our Lord wants us to be active participants in our lives. Our Lord does not want us to roll over and expect Him to do everything for us. God created us as intelligent and capable beings. However, God helps those who trust in and surrender to Him. Such a minute distortion as this cliché holds makes a huge difference. Again, these misrepresentations often turn into religious abuse.

Lies shout at us from all angles, but the worst lies we listen to are often those we tell ourselves. We repeat falsehoods in our minds that others have spoken to us. And then we take those lies and build on them. Before we know it, our brains play a looped track of damaging untruths. We end up endlessly listening to phrases like, “You’re no good.” “You’ll never amount to anything.” “You won’t ever change.” An endless number of such hurtful statements exist.

When someone abuses, they program their victim to accept abuse. In this way, the harm carries on long after the abuse incident has occurred. In a sense, the abuser trains their victims to self-abuse. Natalie, in Robin’s Gift, spent nearly three decades trapped in the chains of such destructive lies. They clouded her reality, keeping her from receiving joy. Once free, Natalie could enter the blessed life the Savior had waiting for her. You can discover how Natalie finally gained the courage to break free by reading my book Robin’s Gift found at  https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N.

Breaking Out

Awareness is the first step to breaking out of this trap. Alert yourself to lies. Remain strong and counteract every assault. Then repeat powerful statements like, “I AM WORTHY!” “I HAVE GREAT POTENTIAL!” “I WILL GROW BEYOND THIS!” To simplify things, whatever lie holds you in bondage, find its counterpart. Continuously say this truth to yourself until you believe it and silence the lie. This practice will strengthen you to break free from that abusive chain.

Lies may have painted your past. In addition, no matter how hard one may try, no one can completely forget their past. However, anyone can heal from it. Consequently, regardless of how tainted, your former years hold importance. Glean from the many powerful lessons that exist within those bygone days.

Even God cannot change the past. However, anyone can break free, so your former days no longer dominate your future. To sum this up, stop regretting your history and start finding reasons to be grateful.

Key to Healing

An attitude of gratitude is a pivotal ingredient toward healing. Natalie, a character in Robin’s Gift, attempted in vain to run from her past. And Aldous, in The Hidden Diamond, squandered much of his life trying to bury his earlier years. Both characters discovered their methods did nothing more than waste precious time.

Look toward your younger self with compassion and embrace it. Regardless of what your past consisted of, blessings did exist. So, unlock those blessings and discover their beauty. You will find one of those many blessings is that it created who you are today. I can’t think of a more glorious gift.

To see more Crystalisms, go to  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

Be Diligent

Twisted statements come in endless supply. Remain diligent with them. When you hear such commonly repeated phrases, think them through. Always remember, you are worthy of the truth. Does truth reside within that statement, or did it result from misguided words passed down throughout the generations? Here is a good litmus test to help you weigh the wisdom within such words. Does the statement sound like something that would come from a loving God? I use this question to continue to build my foundational relationship with my Lord.

On the Fun Side

Here is a cliché I’ve discovered rings true, at least for me. “Haste makes waste.” Inevitably, whenever I hurry, I drop things and create messes. Such blunders occur because of my unstable joints and constant dizziness due to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. As a result, whenever I feel the need to hurry, I remind myself that, in my case, moving fast has the opposite effect.

What clichés have you heard that ring with falsehoods? I invite you to message me at CONTACT THE AUTHOR – Crystal MM Huntley, or at https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761 and share your experiences.

Note To My Readers

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books, The Hidden DiamondBUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley, and Robin’s Gift https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N, and support my mission to break the chains of abuse.

The Hidden Diamond – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

Robin’s Gift – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is a desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

A Different Light Alexandra Another Reason to Forgive Back to My Story Boundaries Direct Forms of Religious Abuse Domestic Abuse Defined Emotional Abuse – an Umbrella Term Faith Shattered Forgiveness Does Not Mean to Forget. Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift Grace Hope Invite Long-term Effects My Fight for You My Solution My Story Note To My Readers Perfection’s Curse Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Seeking Help Step Five Step Four Step One Step Six Step Three Step Two Take the Challenge The Hidden Diamond The Root Meaning of Sin The Scars of Abuse To Find Help To My Readers Two Other Forms of Legal Abuse Unveiling the Hidden Crime Upcoming Posts What Is Legal Abuse? Why Do I Forgive? Why I Share Why I Write You Are Worthy!

It’s Important to Forgive Even the Most Unforgivable.

It’s crucial to forgive even the most unforgivable. I understand for many of us, that can be extremely difficult. Even so, forgiveness holds a pivotal element to healing.

My posts over the past ten weeks have covered a sensitive topic. Within those entries, I shared intimate details from forty-six years of abuse I had endured. Regardless of my past, I refuse to allow such abuse to destroy my life and have fought hard to overcome it. As a result, I’ve used my experiences as a base to write my fiction books. So far, I have written two, The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift.

If you have read my books, within their pages, you will find the final key to freedom from an abusive past. However, by freedom, I don’t mean all effects of abuse are wiped clean. On the contrary, if you take the healing journey, you will follow its path for the rest of your lifetime. However, its payoff is well worth the effort.

Walking this trail brings innumerable rewards with each step taken leading to greater peace. But, don’t get me wrong, this journey is not easy. Every stride I lumbered through uncovered something I had buried for a reason. To sum it up, what I had repressed caused more pain than, at that time, I could bear. This type of scenario is often the case when trapped in an abusive situation, such as a child. However, we have more power than we realize, so reach inside of you and grasp ahold of that abiding power.

To see more Crystalisms, go to  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

Only through God is true strength gained. So grasp onto your Savior and follow His guidance. Trust that His mighty hand will guide you through your hardships, whatever they may be.

Why Do I Forgive?

The key to taking hold of that power is forgiveness. Within The Hidden Diamond, you will discover a journey out of abuse that leads to forgiveness, and in Robin’s Gift, Natalie finds the courage to forgive her past. By holding onto anger and resentment toward another person, you submit your power to them. In doing this, you keep them in the position of a villain who destroys your life.

Forgiveness takes back that power. It reclaims your life. Many have asked how I can forgive those who did such atrocious, unspeakable things to me. They don’t realize that I am not choosing forgiveness for those who abused me. On the contrary, I choose to forgive them for me. By forgiving, I take hold of that final key that leads me toward freedom and joy.

Grace

Our good Lord blesses us with the gift of grace. Jesus gave His life to forgive us every one of our sins. That includes those of our enemies, even our abuser. If God gave His life for our abuser’s sins, then who are we to reject God’s gift and hold grievances? God offers us grace every day. In response to my Savior’s goodness, I must show those who have abused me grace through forgiveness.

A Different Light

Nobody gets through life unscathed, and no one is born an abuser. Also, no one automatically becomes an abuser. Something monumental must have happened to send them down such a destructive path. Remembering this helps me forgive those who have harmed me. With this in mind, choosing resentment over forgiveness places us at risk of stumbling down that same path. Those poisons lead to actions that turn an innocent person into an abuser.

I have had the privilege of learning prevalent details of my mother’s and father’s backgrounds. With my mother, those glimpses revealed elements from her past that she buried, minimizing their significance. Stuffing emotions and repressing memories is no different than burying toxic waste. In time, it leaches to the surface, polluting the topsoil with poisons.

Every one of us has the potential to become an abuser if we do not adequately handle contaminations that enter our lives. Forgiveness unearths those contaminants and properly disposes them in ways that do not cause harm.

Forgiveness Does Not Mean to Forget.

The phrase “forgive and forget” can be downright harmful. Here is an example. If we stick our hand into a lion’s cage, the beast might bite it off. We can forgive the animal—however, we have a right and obligation to protect ourselves from further harm. To do that, remembering the nature of the wild beast shields us from further suffering. It is the same with people.

A person who abuses will do so because of a lifetime of wounds that have formed them. As a result, their actions become their nature. Wise forgiveness frees a victim from their abuser. It does not repeatedly set them in situations to become prey.

Another Reason to Forgive

Another reason to forgive is that holding onto resentment will rob you of joy. Our savior wants us to be joyous and not spend our days suffering.

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Did you catch that? God wants us to be happy! That is His will for us. To hold onto such happiness, even in times of sorrow, we must keep a channel open to its source. That source is our Lord.

During my childhood, my parents taught me it is shameful to rejoice because it dishonors all those who, at that very moment in time, suffer. Their teaching is a perfect example of twisting the truth, an element of religious abuse. https://www.crystalmmhuntley.com/religious-abuse-revealing-the-signs-can-you-see-them/(opens in a new tab)

Note To My Readers

I pray this post adequately informs all who read it and cry out for such vital help. Also, I pray that what I have provided gives courage to those in need. I welcome questions and comments on any of my blogs. To do so, go to CONTACT THE AUTHOR – Crystal MM Huntley. I hope to inspire you to move forth in your healing journey.

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books and support my mission to break the chains of abuse. The Hidden DiamondBUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM HuntleyRobin’s Gift will be available for purchase by March 27th on Amazon

The Hidden Diamond – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

Robin’s Gift – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is a desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

A Different Light Alexandra Another Reason to Forgive Back to My Story Boundaries Direct Forms of Religious Abuse Domestic Abuse Defined Emotional Abuse – an Umbrella Term Faith Shattered Forgiveness Does Not Mean to Forget. Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift Grace Hope Invite Long-term Effects My Fight for You My Solution My Story Note To My Readers Perfection’s Curse Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Seeking Help Step Five Step Four Step One Step Six Step Three Step Two Take the Challenge The Hidden Diamond The Root Meaning of Sin The Scars of Abuse To Find Help To My Readers Two Other Forms of Legal Abuse Unveiling the Hidden Crime Upcoming Posts What Is Legal Abuse? Why Do I Forgive? Why I Share Why I Write You Are Worthy!

Suicide, It’s a Devastating Effect of Abuse—How to Get Help

Suicide, it’s a devastating effect of abuse—how to get help. We just completed the nine-week series on abuse. I pray you found value in the information provided. In addition, I feel the need to flow this topic with one more related post.

As I stated in https://www.crystalmmhuntley.com/do-you-know-the-six-important-steps-to-escape-abuse/(opens in a new tab), the devastation of abuse erodes a person’s sense of self-worth.

Such a loss can place a victim in a dangerous space. It lowers their self-esteem, allowing depression and anxiety to seep in. Consequently, many victims develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). To counteract trauma effects, many turn to comfort in even more damaging places, such as substance abuse. Also, tragically too often, victims become suicidal.

I know far too well the effects of abuse. As I have shared in many posts, I‘ve lived much of my life as a victim. Those generational chains of abuse wrapped tight around me. They strangled many of my attempts to break free. As a result, I battled suicidal thoughts for much of my life.

My Story

The tender age of eight marks the first time I desired death to escape the horrors of life. My father distortedly twisted the teachings of a legitimate church. This adaptation resulted in my parents raising me in a cult-like religion of their makings.

My father’s corrupted doctrine taught me that age eight is the age of accountability. My parents expected me to commit myself to the church through the act of baptism, which would wash away all my sins. In their warped form of religion, baptism provided the only opportunity to annul a person’s sins. Any sin committed after that monumental moment forever marks a sure ticket to condemnation.

The Root Meaning of Sin

I wish to pause here and point out some flaws in my parents’ philosophy. First, let’s clarify the meaning of sin. Far too often, sin is taught as something worthy of great shame. However, the word “sin” originated from an ancient Greek term meaning “to miss the mark.”

This new information places that heavily weighted word in an entirely new light. This knowledge frees us from wrapping ourselves in a blanket of shame whenever we fall short and do wrong. We can see our “sin” as a loving reminder to correct our actions.

God is Love. Because of this, everything that comes from God is Love. The opposite of love is fear. And the typical way our society uses the word “sin” dredges up heaps of fear. However, when we remember the original meaning of this word, we can see our “sin” as an opportunity to learn. Our Heavenly Parent lovingly points out where we have ‘missed the mark” and then redirects us onto the correct path. Next, it is up to us to choose whether to follow our Savior’s directions.

Back to My Story

My parents taught me that, under all circumstances, I must obey my elders. Added to that demand, they forbade me from doing anything wrong. They backed up their warning by brainwashing me with an overwhelming fear of condemnation if I sinned.

Their dogmatic teachings often placed me in no-win situations. Such a conflict arose when my parents introduced me to an elderly couple who lived across the street. My parents insisted that my sister and I visit this couple often and treat them like grandparents. So, every day after school, we went to their house.

For a while, our visits remained enjoyable. Then, one day, things changed. This man, an elder I must obey, began molesting me. I knew God would frown on such actions. But how could I, an innocent seven-year-old, refrain from his demands without disobeying my elders? This nightmare placed me in an impossible situation to refrain from sin. No matter what action I chose, I faced definite condemnation.

My Solution

Relief swept over me as I approached my eighth birthday. I had found a way out of this impossible predicament. According to our church, eight years old is the age of accountability. A person can also be baptized at this age. As my mother taught me baptism classes, my heart leaped. I learned that baptism would wash me clean from sin. So, all I needed to do was get baptized, which would save me from hell.

Despite all my horrible experiences, I held a firm belief in God’s love for me. Joy filled me as I approached my baptism day. I fully believed this was my one-way ticket out of hell. It would take away all the sins brought on by this older man.

But then I got thinking. Baptism may wash away my past sins, yet it does nothing for any sin committed after that time. I knew how to obey and did it well, but that wasn’t good enough. I am still responsible for any sin that resulted from my parents’ impossible demands. But, because God loved me, my Lord would want me, once cleansed, to remain clean. My Savior would rescue me.

To ensure my rescue, my innocent child-like mind conceived of a plan. I had complete confidence that my God would make it happen. My Savior would call me home to Heaven before anything could happen that would mark me with sin. So, I happily skipped around our house, singing this made-up ditty. “I’m going to be baptized, then I’m going to die, and I’m going to heaven, and it will be a wonderful day!” My song freaked out my mother, but that did not stop me from joyously repeating it.

Faith Shattered

The day of baptism arrived, and not long after, Mother sent me across the street. This time the man who lived there raped me. I had sinned again, and this sin would remain with me forever. I held total accountability for my wrongdoing, which sealed my fate. All my faith in a loving God plummeted.

I battled this twisted image of God well into my adult years. Suicidal wishes and plans revisited me multiple times over the twenty-six years I remained with my ex. This mentality continued to plague me during the six months after I escaped and resided in a safe shelter.

Since then, I’ve received the help of excellent therapists and more. I also threw out the old, warped concept of God based on lies. Freed of that false image, I now walk a new journey, drawing closer each day to the true God of Love.

Why I Share

I am sharing my story with you because suicide is prevalent among abuse victims. If despair is trapping you within this desperate space, trust that you are not alone! Hope always abounds.

When life’s situations become bleaker than bleak, it is easy to conclude that death is the only way out. But even when you cannot see one, a way toward freedom is always near.

Depression dominated a large percentage of my first forty-six years. I now live a life I never could have dreamed of in my wildest imagination. If I had given up, I would have missed the beauty, joy, and satisfaction that today brings.

A life filled with abundant joy exists, waiting for each of us. To reach the warmth of the sunshine, you must find your way out of the darkened forest. Never give up searching for a path that will lead you out. One always exists.

Resources

If suicidal thoughts trap you or someone you know, seek help. You can do so by dialing 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. They will connect you with a trained counselor. For further support with this and other mental health issues, go to the National Helpline Database. And always, if you or someone you know is in immediate danger, dial 911. Remember, every life is priceless. That includes you!

To see more Crystalisms, go to  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

Note To My Readers

I pray this post adequately informs all who read it and cry out for such vital help. Also, I pray that what I have provided gives courage to those in need. I welcome questions and comments on any of my blogs. To do so, go to CONTACT THE AUTHOR – Crystal MM Huntley. I hope to inspire you to move forth in your healing journey.

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my book, The Hidden DiamondBUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley, and support my mission to break the chains of abuse.

The Hidden Diamond – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

A Different Light Alexandra Another Reason to Forgive Back to My Story Boundaries Direct Forms of Religious Abuse Domestic Abuse Defined Emotional Abuse – an Umbrella Term Faith Shattered Forgiveness Does Not Mean to Forget. Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift Grace Hope Invite Long-term Effects My Fight for You My Solution My Story Note To My Readers Perfection’s Curse Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Seeking Help Step Five Step Four Step One Step Six Step Three Step Two Take the Challenge The Hidden Diamond The Root Meaning of Sin The Scars of Abuse To Find Help To My Readers Two Other Forms of Legal Abuse Unveiling the Hidden Crime Upcoming Posts What Is Legal Abuse? Why Do I Forgive? Why I Share Why I Write You Are Worthy!

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